Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
