your room smells of hookers.
And success
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
