maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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