Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
