We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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