Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
My breasts were aching with rage.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
