Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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