I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You're like the curious george of whores
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
