soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
