I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
