Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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