you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
