he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize