How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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