I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
where are my pants?
in the oven.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
