Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize