She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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