Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize