fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
