Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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