He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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