Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
