Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
