11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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