Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
