OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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