I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
