shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I cut my penus on the lid.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i believe in u and ur pee
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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