Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
