Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
