If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
