Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
