after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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