Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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