It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
