this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
