he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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