I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Green mimosas i think yes
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
