check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
