check it out our google latitudes are spooning
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize