i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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