I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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