Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
