i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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