i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I think I am morally bankrupt
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize