ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
