he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
