considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
