pedialite and red bull = repair kit
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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