I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
