..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
