it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
