Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
