it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize