Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize