"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
