i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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