Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
