Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
