I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
