if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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